The Progression Blog

I am not really sure when i forgot about it…forgot about me. You know, people have role models and identities that are rooted somewhere. There is a reason why you like a band, a kind of music, a movie, a beverage or whatever. I just forgot. At some point I just forgot. (or mixed them all togehter, not sure actually) I guess the constant need to be someone in different aspects of my life made me forget. I guess its kind of a schizophrenic thing. I want to be that kind of person at one point and the next I want to be someone completely different. I know what some people think, that is just how everyday life works but I am afraid that it does not. I feel the need to find a way to measure and see where I go. Well to be honest, blogging about this shit will not help but maybe it will help me to monitor where I am and where I want to be…

“I don’t know man” so I thought to myself. I tried this bevor and bevor and bevor so why bother again. Well to put it into context, why not? I never thought that I would ever stop smoking again but I did, after what felt like a million tries. The point is in the end I won the fight against myself and succeded which is what I want to do again. This time though on two different levels. The one fight is with myself and putting myself through a diet/workout routine to feel more like I want to feel. The other is the educational level that I need to reach to, well earn money. So to speak I never had a lot of endurance and believe it or not endurance can be tough and I have to say I went about it all wrong at first but now I can see how the small steps come together to form one giant step. Does that make sense? I don’t know man but it kinda does!